Hello my old friends. It has been too long - way too long. I feel like for a long time now I have been apologizing for the lack of posts or for how long it has taken me to post. Definitely over the past year I have had a love/not so love relationship with blogging/filming - I wouldn't say hate as this will never be something that I hate. Following on from my last blog post I now realize that this lack of motivation mainly comes from not really posting about things that I really want to post about. So let's shut up and post about things that I want to talk about.
So as this is the first post of the year lets reflect and make goals. Reflections.
Age - last year I turned 24 and am now fast approaching 25. I am definitely not one of the oh so common 20something who fears their birthday like the plague, birthdays are something to celebrate. To commemorate everything you've accomplished so far and to aspire to those things that you haven't yet achieved. So while I definitely wouldn't say I feel older - I most definitely feel more comfortable within myself - though ironically last year has been one of the toughest in a long while. I worked and worked and tried to do everything at once. I nearly burnt myself out both physically and emotionally - maybe because of that I am now more comfortable with myself.
Travel - I travelled more and further before than I have in my whole life. I was fortunate enough to visit Turkey, Germany and Japan. Turkey was my least favourite of the three but that is mostly down to us not visiting the right part. We went to a resort and it was a little town out of the way, very touristy. Didn't feel like a very good representation of the country or culture!
Germany on the other hand was a wonderful surprise. I never thought I would like it as much as I did - the food was amazing and Munich was such a lovely city. Not being a huge fan of alcohol I didn't think I would enjoy Oktoberfest but it was one of the best experiences I have had. Definitely a place I want to go back to.
Japan. Oh Japan. Somewhere I have always dreamed of going and a destination I thought would take a lot longer to get to. It was truly an amazing place, everything was a wonder. It is kind of hard to put into words how much I enjoyed it there. Even though we were only there for two weeks - I miss it. There's still so much I want to do there, so much more I want to explore!
Work - Work was crazy last year. I wanted to take as much money with me as possible for my trip to Japan and I worked more than I have ever done before. I didn't realise how detrimental working that much was to my body until just before I went to Japan. I had barely seen my friends or family, I was barely eating or eating too much to compensate and then my sleep was all over the place. I had never gotten sick as much as I did in such a short space of time. Despite all the negative aspects I'm glad I did it - I had all the money I needed for my trip and it definitely made me more appreciative of my spare time. It also made me realize time is too valuable to spent on doing something I'm not passionate about.
At the end of the year I was fortunate to be offered a job in as a Chiropractic Assistant and that is something I'm definitely passionate about. Balance is important in every aspect of life but I feel that this is definitely more so when it comes to your health. I'm glad I have the opportunity to take on a new challenge, expand my knowledge and help others!
Family & Friends - As I said work was crazy, so unfortunately for a little while I didn't get to see my family as much as I wanted to. This gave me an opportunity to make new friends and I was very fortunate to work with some lovely people who ended up being more than just colleagues. I don't think I could have made through all the ridiculously hard, long hours without the help of them. So thank you Saff, Mia and Hayley.
Not being able to see my family (that includes you, Maya, too) as much as I wanted just made me cherish the time I get to spend with them now and it was so lovely to have more time towards the end of the year to do that.
Brian - Relationships are never easy. Ever - despite what social media, movies and television wants us to believe. This year Brian and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary. 8 years! It has definitely been a joyous 8 years but this last year was harder than most. We took our first big trip away as a couple and made a lot of adult decisions about our future - which sounds a lot more ominous on screen than it does in real life!
Acting - This has and always will be an ambition for me. It will always be my biggest passion but 2015 was the year it took the backseat. I did get over my fear of singing in public though! I learnt doing the things that terrify me also exhilarate me too. I hadn't sung in front of anyone I didn't really know since I was 15 and somehow found myself volunteering for it. At the moment I thought myself a fool for even doing so but now I think my past self brave aha. I liked it so much I did it in two different shows. I also performed Shakespeare and one of my favourites - Much Ado About Nothing. It was a fun experience.
Last year was also the year I decided not to audition for Drama school again. Not ever again but just not now. I had been auditioning for a few years and looking back on it now I was probably quite terrible. I had put so much hope and fear into my auditions that I probably wasn't the best that I could be. I also was using it as the only way. Like if I didn't get into drama school I will never act. That's just stupid. My mind is just stupid. But hey you grow eventually - I know I will act but in what capacity and how is yet to be determined.
GOALS.
Blogging/Youtube
Lets start with the most obvious one. I also say this one every year. Though normally I say I want to blog more. Whilst that would be great- this year's goal will be different - I want to create more interesting content that is at a higher quality. I also want to talk more about things that are important to me, that are more personal to me. I also want to create more fun content too!
Health & Fitness
Ok - this is probably the most obvious one. Health and fitness is something I have tried to maintain some balance in but the last half of the year it has gone out of whack. Eating healthily and working out when down the toillet, so not good.
I have already joined the gym - which was actually terrifying. The thought of working out with other people in my general vicinity was something I thought I would never do but seeing as I lost all motivation to do it at home I figured I would give it a go. It is actually not so bad and I'm kind of enjoying it. However, I do feel incredibly selfconcious. So one of my goals is to become more comfortable in the gym.
Another goal is to tone up! I am a lot more toned than I used to be but I'm not physically where I want to be in terms of being fit.
Eating balanced and healthily is another thing I want to achieve. Lately my eating hasn't been all that great - pizza and pasta is ruling my plate but that needs to change.
Emotional Health
I feel like our bodies are so readily forgotten and our minds even more so. We are constantly bombarded with everyone else's expectations of what and who we are supposed to be that even if we realize it or not it takes an emotional toll. I am one of those people who readily takes on other people's problems and emotions with disregard to how that affects me. Thankfully I was born with a positive temperament so it isn't a burden at all but I am great at putting my own emotions and problems away. I rarely bother to examine my own emotions - though not to say that I'm full of them or problems. I want to be healthy and that shouldn't just apply to my physical self. Not to go all hippy on you but I think regardless of what kind of person you are - emotional happiness/healthiness is something that should be more talked about. Only the extremest of situations are deemed as things that should be talked and have more exposure but millions of people don't fall into those and they still need to be helped. Wellbeing should be applied to everyone.
Too help with my emotional happiness I started to keep a journal - so when I need to or even when I don't need to I can talk about my emotions and also go back and reflect. Too much of us live in the future we forget to think about the now.
Acting
I want to do more in acting and definitely to improve and progress. I'm going to be taking some Meisner classes which I can't say how excited I am to start. I have read about it and now finally I will be doing it.
However I want to do something beyond learning and amateur dramatics - I want to do something professionally and maybe even get paid for it - I would be happy to get paid any amount but I feel like if I did something that I got paid for - I would feel in some way validated as a performer. We'll see!
Travel
I want to go to even more places this year and not just abroad. I have lived my whole life in London and have barely ventured out into the rest of the country! I am sure that there are many wonders and delights to behold here.
There is already a trip to Japan planned this year - I'm finally going to meet my Japanese family :):) I can't wait!
Whether I get to go to other places all depends on money though. I wish it wasn't so integral to what feels like everything.
If you're reading this I would love to know what your goals and aspirations are for the year!
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